I remember sitting in my son’s rocking chair…it was 2am and my beautiful baby boy was having some troubles going to sleep. He was fussy and crying but nothing I was doing seemed to calm him…I remember thinking to myself, “I’m his mother. How can I not even calm my own child? Maybe I’m not ready…maybe I’m not meant to be a mother…I’m just making matters worse…”
In that moment of thinking I had several thoughts there after that my family would be better off without me. I told myself over and over again that I wasn’t good enough to be a mother and that I was only making things worse for my husband and son…I made myself believe that I was nothing more than a burden and shouldn’t be here anymore…
It was also in those moments that I realized that it was all a lie. Lies being shoved at me left and right from the devil. I knew deep down inside that God wouldn’t put those thoughts in my head nor would He want me to act on them. I had heard of women randomly speak of PPD but it was not something I had ever seen gone into deep detail about…it was time to change that.
My name is Cierra. I’m a wife, mom and avid taco eater and I have battled depression off and on my whole life. Although depression at times thinks it has won, the victory has already been won by my King.
A year later after this initial experience I had gotten my depression under control using wellness, lots of self care and love and even more Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments here and there but I now have a better understanding on when I am headed towards a downhill spiral and what things I need to do to stop it from getting bad.
During this time I was working a business that allowed me to connect with a lot of women on a daily basis who a lot of them were mothers. Something that 90% of these women that I encountered with struggled with was a different form of depression. By that I mean I think when people hear the word “depression” their first thought is sweat pants, won’t get out of bed, down in the dumps or suicidal. Yes – all of those things are part of depression but depending on the person and what stage they are in – depression can take on many forms of mood swings, low self worth, wanting to change things but having no desire to do so, low sex drive, lack of appetite, and more!
Maybe you read some of those things and though to yourself “Holy cow!! I struggle with some of those things!! Am I depressed?” You could be…and thats OKAY! I discovered in speaking with these women that it was like pulling teeth to get them to speak about it…almost like if you were experiencing signs of depression no matter how big or small than it was something to be ashamed of.
Why? And why are so many people depressed more than ever right now?
I’m not a doctor but I feel it has to do with the fact that a lot of doctors are just treating the symptoms vs treating the triggers and helping these women work through it all…
…Which is why I am here. I no longer want depression to be the elephant in the room or hush hush topic. I no longer want women to have to live off of pills the rest of their life. I no longer want another woman to feel like she is struggling alone or to be ashamed of what she is experiencing or feeling. I no longer want another woman to miss out on all the blessings God has in store for her because she is being held down by a dark cloud.
Which is why I have created I Am Enough. I’m on a mission to help women break up with their depression in whatever form it takes on them so they can walk in the truth that God says about them. Although I am just in the beginning stages I can already see God working and moving in the lives of all the women who are not only apart of the I Am Enough Facebook community but also whom I get the pleasure of connecting with via social media and face to face.
Right now I am working on creating mini group courses, an empowerment fashion line, podcast, blog and more that will empower you to break up with depression and live in your truth and purpose.
Depression is strong but my God is stronger.
Depression can make you weak but my God will not only restore you but carry you.
Depression may tell you you are not enough but my God thinks you are to die for.
Depression may think its one but the victory already belongs to God.
Together we will overcome this dark cloud and walk in the light together
Sending you many blessings,
Note from Samantha Sali: Thanks Cierra for guest posting today! I just love your message because it reaches out onto a topic that isn’t really talked about.
What did you guys think of what Cierra wrote?