How do you start a blog post when you’ve been MIA for a few months? I’m not even sure what topic this will be considered as because I’m not following a plan like I normally do. If you ever wondered what my private journals read like, this is it. Writing what comes to my mind, with no real direction. Today’s one of those “Let’s hop in the car and go for a ride” days.
You see, I’m forcing myself to sit down and write something because I have a rare break to form words on the computer. I haven’t had the urge to write in a long while. Honestly, I stopped feeling the urge to write once I finished the first draft of my 2nd book. It was almost like all I ever wanted or needed to say was said. My writing cup was empty (still kind of is too).
Even though I haven’t had the desire to write or the passion for a topic, I still beat myself up about it often. I’m a born-creative & creating is a source of great fulfillment in my life. It certainly has always felt like my calling. It just seems like the past few months, my “calling” was placed on hold while I was led to fulfillment in other areas of my life. It feels like this new path I’m on currently is a detour and I’m taking the positive viewpoint, enjoying the journey and beauty instead of complaining about the “inconvenience” of detour.
Isn’t all of life a detour?
Isn’t it a running joke among Christians that they make plans for their lives & God chuckles as He throws in roadblocks and potholes and detours to divert you to where He wants you to go?
In addition to detours, I think another reason why I haven’t written is because of lack of self confidence & self-destructive habits. Even when things are going perfectly, doubt seeps in to the cracks. Actually, it’s more than doubt. It’s a full-blown spiritual attack.
I know that God has called me to not only manage a home and family, but to use the creative gifts He has given me.
And if there is one thing I learned as a Christian, it’s that the closer to God you get…the closer you get to fulfilling the desires God has for you…the more the enemy tries to prevent you from doing so. The stronger your faith, the stronger the spiritual attacks.
It pleases Satan nothing more than to see me crumble.
I know self-doubt and destruction are of Satan because they are certainly not of God.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with all of this, excuse my blabbing away (LOL). Perhaps in the future, I’ll touch on the topic of spiritual attacks?
I hope to be able to start writing more on here (and film videos on my youtube channel, but let’s take baby steps). I imagine the desire to write has started to stir within me, so cheers to maybe talking to you in the future!