15 Things To NOT Say To a New Mom

Have you ever been given parenting advice and felt like “thanks, you really shouldn’t have”?

This past October, I welcomed my first child into the world – a sweet little boy, who has my whole heart.

While there were many helpful suggestions given to me postpartum, most of the advice given was not helpful in any way. Some of the conversations were downright rude, like commenting on my postpartum body or telling me when I should conceive the next one.

Overwhelmed by the constant conflicting information & hurtful words, I turned to a breastfeeding group for support. I learned that most new mothers often get a lot of unsolicited advice and impolite comments.

Today I’d like to share some examples of things you just should not say.

Click here to read the rest of my post on Kenya Rae’s blog!

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Motherhood In The Trenches

“How can this possibly be God’s plan for me?”, I mutter to myself after changing yet another poop explosion diaper.

I’m 7 months in to this whole motherhood thing & there are days where I doubt my role & path. The voices of others are particularly strong when I have those days of doubts. I’m not normally doubtful – I very much enjoy my role as a wife and mother. But on “those” days, I can’t help but repeat the voices that have told me “I can’t” or “this is wasteful”.

Should I continue being a stay-at-home-mother?

Is that even what I am? Can I consider my “profession” as a writer or author?

Am I wasting my life tending home & raising little ones?

Is there value in my role as a mother?

In Titus 2:3-5, Paul urges the older women to teach the younger women to “love their husbands and children…and to be busy at home” (Greek translation is “home-worker” or “homemaker”. There are several instances in the bible that show that being a mother is not just a good role, but a role of the highest standard – as we would not have teachers, priests, doctors, and leaders without mothers.

In addition to scripture, I am reminded of the joyous task of motherhood & homemaking by one of my favorite authors, Sally Clarkson (who’s view on motherhood is something to look up to):

A mother, living well in her God-ordained role, is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation. Her impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation. Fun, comfort, humor, graciousness, spiritual passion, compassion for the lost, hospitality, chores, meals, training life-giving words, hours and hours of listening and playing and praying and reading – all are parts of the mosaic which go into the process of soul development.

I don’t just want my kids to be moral. I don’t just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior. I don’t just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction, and no premarital sex. I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by Him to accomplish great things for his kingdom.

Motherhood isn’t just a biblical duty. It’s a ministry of discipleship & I feel extremely blessed to be honored with the chance to impart God’s love onto my son. On days I struggle with accepting my role or when doubt is placed there, I look to my son who reminds me that it’s worth the long nights & I look to God who will be able to one day show me the fruits of my labor (literally lol).

The Ministry of Motherhood

I picked up Sally Clarkson’s book, “The Ministry of Motherhood”, purely based off of Goodreads reviews (pretty much five stars) and the fact that I’ve been eager to open my literary heart to books related to motherhood and raising children. Though I am only a quarter of the way through, I’ve realized what a fantastic resource this book is. Sally is a fantastic writer, whom often paints amazing pictures of what biblical times may have looked like.

Continue reading “The Ministry of Motherhood”